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Thursday, March 8, 2012

And I wait

Believe me. I knew it would be this way. But it doesn't make it any easier waiting for some sort of response on my book. I know, I know. It's only been a month. And most websites say to give agents at least 3-4 months to respond. And I sent this agent a doorstop of a book so I should expect it to take even longer. But still. It doesn't make it any easier.

In the meantime I stare at my Twitter feed jealously reading about everyone else's awesome time at AWP, and wondering why I don't have any writer friends (I do actually, but not in the massive volumes recounted by the writers I follow on Twitter). Am I not pretty enough? Is it because I have a beard? No, that can't be it. Everyone has a beard these days. Maybe it's because I haven't written a short story, or submitted anything in, like, eight months. That's probably it. You do sort of have to, like, commit to the writing scene if you want it to commit back to you, I suppose.

It did get me thinking, though, that writers, especially those in the online indie lit scene, are extremely supportive of each other. They may not support me, per se, but they support each other in a way that really can't be replicated with the same fervor in any other indie scene. It's impressive and says a great deal about these people and the commitment they have to their art and other purveyors of same. There is an incredibly lack of competition that is surprising given the relatively small pieces of economic pie over which they are all competing. But maybe that's the point, that the pieces of pie are so small, and the odds of getting even a nibble so ridiculously miniscule, that today's writers have effectively rejected the enticement of the pie in total and have focused instead on making each other happy. That, at least, is a more easily attainable goal, and probably a much healthier one, psychologically speaking.

So, there's all that. And I feel like I kind of sit outside of it, sadly. Sad because I think I actually have a lot in common stylistically with the vanguard, but, of course, they are mostly short story writers and have been able to take advantage of the new technology of the internet in order to advance their writing in short bursts. I have come to the conclusion that I write bigger things. Not better, just bigger. So, I stand apart. But I hope to be let in soon.

I have this book, after-all, and it sits in someone's inbox. And maybe they'll like it.


Alan Stewart Carl said...

Come to Boston next year and I'll buy you a drink. Once you get by the general social awkwardness, AWP is a blast. And if things go as they should, by then, you'll have a book coming out.